- The Kaizen
- Posts
- You're Not Special...
You're Not Special...
Harsh truth: No one actually cares about you. Okay, that sounded a bit mean. In a nicer way, people don’t care as much as you think they do. We can’t help but think that people are always looking at us. When out at the shops or walking down the street, we get this anxious feeling that we have to walk a certain way and make sure we look good because everyone’s eyes are glued to us, right?
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world".”
YOU’RE NOT SPECIAL
365 Words | 1 Min 20 Sec Read
Harsh truth: No one actually cares about you.
Okay, that sounded a bit mean. In a nicer way, people don’t care as much as you think they do.
We can’t help but think that people are always looking at us. When out at the shops or walking down the street, we get this anxious feeling that we have to walk a certain way and make sure we look good because everyone’s eyes are glued to us, right?
Well, not quite—this is known as ‘the spotlight effect’.
What is the spotlight effect?
The spotlight effect is a term used by social psychologists to refer to the tendency we have to overestimate how much other people notice about us.
In other words, we tend to think there is a spotlight on us at all times, highlighting all of our mistakes or flaws for all the world to see.
Let’s say you go to a party at your friend’s house, and you end up spilling some of your drink on your shirt.
As you make your way to the bathroom to clean yourself up, you feel like everybody at the party is watching you make a fool of yourself, and you’re incredibly embarrassed.
However, a few weeks after the party, when you bring it up with your friends, nobody else even remembers the incident.
The funny thing is that everyone has this 'spotlight effect’ which means everyone thinks all eyes are on them and everyone is self-conscious, when in reality all anyone cares about is how they are perceived.
The problem with this is that if we continuously fall into the trap of the spotlight effect, we might pass up opportunities based on the mistaken assumption that others will analyse and judge us for them and, as a result, not live to our full potential.
To try and counter this:
Ask yourself how you’d react if the roles were reversed.
Whatever embarrassing situation happened that makes you feel like everyone sees you as a fool, try to take a moment to consider how you would feel if you were on the other side of this interaction.
The majority of the time, you’ll realise that it actually doesn't matter.
ACTIONABLE NEXT STEPS:
Make a conscious effort to fight this bias. Next time you feel like you’re getting sucked in to feeling like the world's eyeballs are on you, do these 3 things:
Ask yourself: If it were all in your head, what would you do if the roles were recognised?
Ask yourself if you’re purposely not making a decision because of it.
Ask yourself, ‘Is anyone going to remember in 5 minutes?’
BOOK OF THE WEEK ⤵️
Zero to One is a book written by Peter Thiel, the x CEO of paypal and instigator of companies like LinkedIn, Yelp & Youtube. In his book he shares the secrets of how to build the future. Read it HERE
CREATOR OF THE WEEK ⤵️
@jordanmakesvideos Replying to @user5838035510858 Day 321 🧊 #coldplunge #motivation #fypシ
TWEET OF THE DAY ⤵️
The solution to boredom is building.
Build a skill.
Build a brand.
Build your body.
Build your mind.
Build your social life.
Build anything.It doesn't matter if you "don't know how."
That's the entire point.
You learn, act, and discover your way out of boredom.
— DAN KOE (@thedankoe)
3:09 PM • Nov 3, 2023
Was this forwarded to you? Sign up here
Got any questions or thoughts about this edition? Send us an email at [email protected]