How To Stop Caring What Others Think

QUOTE OF THE DAY

HOW TO STOP CARING WHAT OTHERS THINK

378 Words | 1 Min 22 Sec Read

The harsh truth is that no one actually cares about you.

Okay, that sounded a bit mean; what’s meant by that is that they don’t care as much as you think they do.

We can’t help but think that people are always looking at us. When out at the shops or walking down the street, we get this anxious feeling that we have to walk a certain way and make sure we look good because everyone’s eyes are glued to us, right?

Well, not quite; this is known as the ‘spotlight effect’.

What is the spotlight effect?

The spotlight effect is a term used by social psychologists to refer to the tendency we have to overestimate how much other people notice about us. In other words, we tend to think there is a spotlight on us at all times, highlighting all of our mistakes or flaws for all the world to see.

Let’s say you go to a party at your friend’s house, and you end up spilling some of your drink on your shirt. As you make your way to the bathroom to clean yourself up, you feel like everybody at the party is watching you make a fool of yourself, and you’re incredibly embarrassed. However, a few weeks after the party, when you bring it up with your friends, nobody else even remembers the incident.

The funny thing is that everyone has this ‘spotlight effect, which means everyone thinks all eyes are on them and everyone is self-conscious when in reality all anyone cares about is how they are perceived.

The problem with this is that if we continuously fall into the trap of the spotlight effect, we might pass up opportunities based on a mistaken assumption that others will analyse and judge us for them and, as a result, not live up to our full potential.

To try and counter this, you can do a few things:

Ask yourself how you’d react if the roles were reversed.

Whatever embarrassing situation happened that made you feel like everyone saw you as a fool, try to take a moment to consider how you would feel if you were on the other side of this interaction. The majority of the time, you’ll realise that it actually doesn't matter.

ACTIONABLE NEXT STEPS:

Assess whether you think that you fall into the trap of the spotlight effect every now and then and understand that so does everyone else!

TAKEAWAYS:

Whatever embarrassing situation happened that made you feel like everyone saw you as a fool, try to take a moment to consider how you would feel if you were on the other side of this interaction. The majority of the time, you’ll realise that it actually doesn't matter.

BOOK OF THE WEEK ⤵️

The Book of the week is ‘The Art Of Persuasion’ by Bob Burg. What is the book about? What if you could get what you want... when you want it...and from whoever has it? The Art of Persuasion teaches you how to get what you want when you want it. You would love to have that ability, right? Get it HERE

CREATOR OF THE WEEK ⤵️

The creator of the week is @Clarkkegley. He’s a US-based self-improvement creator who creates content focused on helping you create the 2.0 version of you. He covers pretty much every topic that you could think of so is definitely someone to watch.

LESSON OF THE DAY ⤵️

Mastery isn't about becoming the best.

It's about the person you become as you push yourself to be.